Friday, March 28, 2014

6 Year Anniversary

Can you believe it has been 6 years since our beloved Tonia has gone to her heavenly home? Time
passes so swiftly in some senses and yet can drag slowly on a day to day basis. Just ask Dax how slow the week days of school are compared to the weekends and summer days. Kristi of course feels the exact opposite. There are so many thoughts throughout each year that I wish I had a better recording system in my brain for the memories I enjoy and the times I thank Tonia for lessons she has taught me that I apply in my life. There are times I just want the windows to heaven opened for a brief conversation, a tidbit of advice or even a chance to give her a hug and make sure she knows she is not forgotten. Then I pray and ask our Father in Heaven to please have someone do it for me since he won’t let me do it myself.

I am ever so grateful for our Fathers plan of salvation and the eternal family aspects of it. I know there are some who think this may just be a story to help us when we lose a dear loved one and I know that is because these people have not been able to receive or understand the testimony born by the Holy Ghost about Gods plan. I testify here and now that I have received such a testimony and do now thru that Holy Spirit that Heaven does exist and our Loved ones can be a part of our eternity if we follow the plan of salvation and do our best to live as Christ has taught us. I know this and I know Tonia knew it. She gave her all trying to live as best she could and is a great example for us to follow. While I do not get to have those one on one conversation I sometimes desire, I do get the blessing of having memories brought to mind which help me know what advice she would give me if I could talk to her. I pray often that these influences can be felt by our children as well.

This year our dear friend Ivan Miller returned to the same Heavenly home mentioned above. I am
positive his Ruth and many others were so happy to see him and Tonia would have been there to. It
makes me wonder if the pets like Trigger also get to be a part of such reunions. But I know that Tonia
would have been there to thank him again for all he and his family have done to bless our family over
the years. We have their influences surrounding us all the time and we are so grateful for it.
We are blessed to have 3 very healthy grandchildren who all walk now. We do not get to see Skylar in person much with Payton being stationed in Fort Lewis, Washington but thankfully there is Skype and videos. Max and Terikk play together often and it is fun to watch their development. Brook and Ross have a new home and Ross has improved his job again. Austin has a new Job in SLC after spending a few months as a traveling sales team member getting to see a bit of New Mexico last fall. RileyJohn is back in the Ogden area and is trying to start a new business with an associate from his last job. We wish him the best in this adventure. As I said Payton and Britney are in Washington at Fort Lewis and all are in good health. Busy of course with that first year of a new baby. Sage is living in Logan and working with her artistic skills helping develop body art. Brady has received his mission call to Santa Rosa California to report on June 25th!!! He has been working for ICON as work load permits. Dax is a junior and is now in a social dance class. I’m sure it’s not his favorite as it was Kristi and my choice but hopefully he will thank us later. Kayonia is also a junior and is enjoying her school as usual and trying out for the local Special Olympics group. Chance is almost 15(next month) and almost as tall as I am. Very soon he will pass me up in height. He is enjoying Guitar 2 and looking forward to his drivers permit this year.

Kristi and I are always grateful for the blessings of our family and hard as it can be to keep up with the role as parents we are eternally grateful for the help of our savior Jesus Christ and his messenger the Holy Spirit. For Kristi it is a bit harder as Tonia had not quite finished with my training when she wore out and got to go home. So Kristi has to try and finish my upbringing as well as nine youth and now grandchildren. But it is great to be young grandparents. I love playing with these gifts from God. Kristi excels at this part as well. It is fun to watch as our grandchildren light up when she gets silly with them. We had a young woman in our ward say to a group that “sometimes she just needs to hold that baby” referring to her little sister.
Kristi and I can relate as sometimes on rough days just getting to hold one of the precious little ones can change our thoughts from dark to light. I can see it in each of our children when they get to play with their nieces and nephews or their own children which ever it happens to be. Once again God knows how to show us again the beauty of his creations even when the efforts of raising our children or coming to adulthood for those children becomes hard at times he introduces more little ones to remind us of his miracles in life. Thank you Father for these blessings and for thy care of our loved ones who have gone home before us for a rest.

Tonia I love you as does your family. Ryan(Elf)

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

5 Year Anniversary

Five years ago our beautiful Tonia, my Elfette went home to our loving Heavenly Father. I have been thinking alot of what to write this year. It is always a matter of deep consideration of how to best celebrate the memories and legacy of our wonderful wife, mother, daughter, grandmother and friend. I will start with the most basic of these thoughts this time. Our dearest Tonia, you are loved greatly and missed often. Many of us see different things that remind us of things you cared about and enjoyed and we are granted fond memories to enjoy for which we are grateful. It is different for each of us but each can find many things to remember. There are flowers, horses, jeeps, mountains, fishing, your special tree, pictures, your beautiful children and family. The list could go on. Much as our love for you goes on. Forever!! Tonia I will always be grateful for your devotion and love shown to me and for the way you have taught me to love our savior. This year has been packed and in the spirit of celebration I have chosen to to do what I believe Tonia would want and focus on the better parts. Austin is in good health and working in Salt Lake City. He has recently turned the ripe old age of 21. RileyJohn will soon be turning this same ripe old age and is still healthily enjoying his work in the service of our country in the army. He is still stationed in Fort Hood, Texas and has a likely, possibility of deployment this summer. He does not know where to yet. Sageryann is currently beginning her life in a new appartment with a new job. The Adventure is beginning! Brady is a senior! He is doing well and will be graduating on May 31st. He is considering whether to go on his mission this summer or later in the winter months after working for a few months. Kaya as a sophmore is having more fun then ever in school and has met new friends that have taken her out to have fun a number of times. Dax is also a sophmore and is doing much better in school this year and is also meeting some new friends and was ordained a priest this past February. Chance is in the eighth grade and enjoying a guitar class as well as his role as president of the deacons quorum and he is active in a school council type program. Terrik is a fast paced 2 year old with a growing vocabulary and loads of fun bundled in him. Just watch out for those shiny teeth. :) Payton, also 21 and Britney have been blessed to transfer from Fort Riley, Kansas to Fort Lewis, Washington just a month and a half ahead of their first child and our first granddaughter. She is due in within the next 3 to 4 weeks now!!! Brook and Ross were blessed in September with our 2nd grandson Max and he is so Cute! They blessed Kristi and I with being in the delivery room which was great! Ross has a new job as well. While I have not done great at keeping up with friends who are out and away from us I can say that Joni and Steve Miller have been called to serve as mission president and mission mother of the Albuquerque, New Mexico Mission. Steve's sweet mother Ruth has also gone home this past year. I am betting Tonia laid a great big hug on her and this time it didn't hurt either one of their necks. I spent 2 different 15 day periods in China this year for work and while I was gone my mother Terry and my sister Denise spent a lot of time here blessing us with help and encouragement especially during my trip in November to December as Kristi's mother Pat gave us a scare with a heart attack while I was over there. Thankfully her health has been blessed after some serious surgery. While Kristi has had some health scares as well and still has a lingering issue we can't name yet we are doing pretty good overall. I got to go to Seattle for work in early March and took the opurtunity to go see Tammie and Ted which I enjoyed very much even though it was only for a few hours. Things are definitely as crazy and busy as ever but Kristi and I keep plugging away grateful for our Saviors help and all of our family. Tonia, I love you very much and I wish you a Very Happy Birthday!! Love Elf and the rest of us.

Friday, March 23, 2012

4th Year Anniverary Thoughts and Memories

Here it is folks. Four years have passed since Tonia went home and this last one has been as full as the rest. I am not sure where to begin with the thoughts of this past year. There has been so much happening and so many times I have stopped to consider what did Tonia teach me to do in moments like these and what would she be feeling or saying.
For instance just last week Kristi and I got to proudly watch RileyJohn graduate from his army AIT training as a cavalry scout. A great moment in his life that I know she would be as happy for him as we were. He is now stationed in Fort Hood, Texas. We also have SageRyann all but graduated from High School. 2 more packets and she will have completed a great thing in her life as well. And she is now 18! Brady and the other kids are doing good in school with he and Chance working hard to be on the Honor roll. Brady will be a senior next year. Time just rushes forward ready or not.
Terikk is growing good and running around so much he won't even stop for a good snuggle unless you get him tired enough to fall asleep. And now we have another grandchild on the way from Brook and Ross! The baby is due in September. Grandma and Grandpa are excited!! And Brook is now teaching at the BATC cosmetology school.
Payton and Britney are now stationed at Fort Riley after Payton finished his year in Korea just last month. Dax and Kaya are both 15 and freshman already! Almost sophomores! There is so much growth and change that Kristi and I are often in need of Tonia's influence to keep up. The year has had its downs as well as ups but I will not be going into details of those. Suffice to say Austin is doing better in health and has found some more work. He and Kortney are in Roy. Kristi’s health is mending and she is doing a great job as a mother, grandmother and wife. She would not always agree with me on that but what great women would?
As I said in the beginning and middle Kristi and I have found strength from Tonia's influence and we believe she is there for the kids as well. Our Father in Heaven has certainly blessed our family very much and after another trip to China this past October and our trip to Atlanta for the graduation last week I can really see how he has. I do get a kick out of listening to people talk of their big families of 2 to 3 kids just to tell them we have 9 and see the shock go thru them. Then when they find out we adopted 5 they just dont have much left to say. At least not much they want to say in front of us as I am proudly displaying a picture of the family. I do want the kids to know that they are in fact doing some good things in their lives that I feel Tonia would be proud of and while we all have things to improve on they should know they are doing good in many ways as well. Tonia has always wanted happiness and good health for her family and I know that has not changed. She understood that we must do good to have that and strived to teach both the children and I this basic principle of the gospel and therefore of life. When we are doing good for ourselves and others there is peace and happiness to be found even in troubled times. This is one thing I remember Tonia teaching in word and example. That and do your best. It may not be perfect and often isn't but it will be enough if we do the best we can at that time trusting in Jesus Christ to help where we may fall short. And in doing so our best will keep getting better. Thanks as well go to all of our parents that have taught Tonia, Kristi and I how to be parents ourselves.

Tonia my dear Elfette, we wish you another happy 26th birthday and hope we can continue to know of your love and influence in our lives. May we all strive to be with you again one day. Love Ryan (Elf)

Friday, March 25, 2011

Tonia's 3 Year Returning Home

With all that's been happening it is hard to believe it has only been 3 short years since our beloved Tonia went home. it is difficult to keep up on some days. Since last year we have had 3 graduate high school and now 2 have joined the Army. Payton is stationed in Korea and has gotten married before he went. RileyJohn has just recently joined and will be going to Basic training in August. Austin is working on starting a new eco friendly airline company. To add to this we have a new grand son named Terikk thru RileyJohn. Terikk is one of the cutest kids this side of anywhere and looks so much like his dad. Tonia would be very happy with this bundle of joy. These are the moments I am sad that Tonia can not be here for. There is so much turmoil in the world and at times in the family that I am happy she is not going thru but these proud moments and especially these Grandparent type moments I know she would love. I hope Heavenly Father let her hold little Terikk before he came. I remember how much love Tonia felt for the children and can only imagine how good a grandmother she will be when the chance comes. Kristi is certainly doing a great job though so there will be no current loss of spoiling and loving for Terikk while we wait for that reunion. Our other kids are groing right along with Sage as a junior and Brady will be getting his drivers license later this summer. Kaya and Dax are in the 8th grade and Chance is in 6th.

Tonia's tree is just rocking in our yard. In last years picture it was still way off the ground but all last summer I was trimming it off the ground a few inches to mow around it and the branches were so thick you could barely see the lights thru them in the summer. It makes a cool halo on the ground under it though and during the winter the lights shine really beautiful.

I am ever so grateful for the care given to Tonia by our Father in Heaven. And to the many people who helped him bring her that care. I know she still has an influence on our lives and pray that our children can feel it too. Kristi often comments on how thankful she is to Tonia for teaching me to be a better husband and father and I am grateful for that as well. I am equally grateful for Kristi helping me continue to improve. While I am not looking for any thing to happen soon I do look forward to the day Tonia and Kristi get to know one another in person. I believe it will be a day of great Joy.

I am sorry if anyone reading this feels I am rambling but there is so much to say but the words and space to say it elude me. There is great emotion in my heart when I think of Tonia and I am trying to type thru watery eyes and jumbled good memories mixed with current thoughts. Suffice to say in closing, I love you Tonia as do many here on earth and happy birthday my dear Elfette.

Friday, March 26, 2010

2 Year Returning Home Anniversary

So here we are at the 2 year anniversary of Tonia's return to her home in heaven. I have thought of the events of the past two years and I have prayed alot lately to say thanks to our Father in Heaven for Tonia not being here to go thru some of the rough spots we have had. In the condition she would have been in I believe it may have crushed her heart. In the same breath I am ever so grateful for Kristi being here and strong enough to help me. We have both felt Tonia's presence and help from time to time. I have had strong feelings concerning this birthday. How blessed I really am by my father in Heaven. He has given me great parents (five moms and 4 fathers, it takes alot to handle me), 2 wonderful, beautiful daughters of his to be my companions, friends, equals (I try to keep up anyway), partners and great kids (9 with 1 additional son in law I am getting to know well enough to call a son.) I am blessed with great health and strength and the ability for Kristi and I to take care of our family. We have a great family that is growing and developing constantly. But in Memory of my Elfette I am going to close with a memory of her last gift of Love for me. Despite the fact that I would have considered it a gift from God to have her suffering end on my birthday Tonia made the very painful effort to wait one more day to go home in order to not have that memory be a part of my birthday for the rest of my life. That was the greatest birthday gift she ever gave me. One more shot of love that I did not even know she was aware of until moments before she passed. I can kid and joke and tease all I want to about loving my Brides more then they love me but in reality I am a man and there is no way in heaven I can love them better then they love me but I am going to DIE TRYING! That is what She taught me and I wish Kristi wouldn't make it such a hard task, but of course like Tonia she constantly stays ahead of me.

I am grateful everyday for Tonia and we will have her tree lighting up our yard all weekend in rememberance of her. Love you Tonia, Ryan.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

1 Year Ago...

Today is the aniversary of Tonia's return home to her Father in Heaven. This has been on my mind and all of yours as well I am sure. I have spent time contemplating what I am and should be feeling at this time. There are many feelings that can and will be felt by each of us and they will be different for each of us. As I have searched I have found myself missing some of the little things that made Tonia my Elfette and sometimes the sound of her voice or things of that nature. But I have not found myself missing her influence in my life as I see it dailly in things the the kids and I do that we learned from Tonia. Some are small like Brady checking dates on food and then making sure to tell Kristi and I if he see's one out of order. Or Kayonia working to keep her calander up and her room in pretty good order. I find myself keeping the food storage under constant watch and Tonia's influence on the family budget and savings has been huge and great for me this year as so much has been happening. If Tonia had not been so good with saving and keeping out of debt it could have been a really rough year but she had done very well with this and she had helped me learn a great deal of it as we worked thru budgeting together over the years. The greatest influence she has had on me is that of how to love people. Tonia loves her children dearly and did all she could with the conditions she was in to be as good a mother as possible. I am trying to improve myself as a father to be the best I can be which I hope to always advance as she did. She also taught me to love my spouse deeply and thru anything that came up they were to be a top priority even above ones self. Tonia had often told me to remarry and even picked out second wives at times. During her last week she had stressed this 3 different times and this is a great example of putting me above herself as she has also been afraid of being forgotten by me and the children once someone else was in the home. While I have been blessed with Kristi coming into our home as a wife and mother Tonia is certainly not forgotten and Kristi has even spoken of feeling her influence at times when she has sought her advice and strength. What I have learned from Tonia will be carried on in my wonderful role as husband and father and I hope that our children often find themselves as parents in the future saying things like thats how mom did it and thanks for teaching me mom. Or even the ever dreaded times of catching ones self saying and doing what our parents did that we thought were so bad at one time. I am not sad at this time of year as I wish to celebrate Tonia's wonderful life and I am also very grateful that she is not here suffering thru that terrible ordeal that her physical body had become. She is at peace and has a better understanding of love now then before which is incredible as loving and Kind as Tonia was while here among us. Let us laugh at the good times and remember the faith shown in the tough times and always remember her undying love. Ryan

Thursday, August 21, 2008

In memory of our beloved Tonia

Dear Ryan,
In thinking of Tonia’s childhood memories, we realized the we had her for the first 19 years of her life and you shared her with us for the last 19 years.
It seems almost impossible to sum up our memories of the precious 19 years that now seem to have flown by.Family life was sure busy during those growing up years but when we reflect on Tonia it’s one of pleasant memories and deep appreciation for a daughter who was always so eager to please and had a strong desire to do right. We never remember Tonia ever being “grounded”.She was one of those teenagers most every parent would want. She was not a
“normal” teenager. She never felt a need to rebel. We never had to worry about what she was doing because we knew it would be the right thing.
We do remember one time that she broke a home rule and that was no double riding on a bicycle. Well, she rode double on Tammie’s bicycle one time and fell off and was taken to the hospital with a concussion.She was the most comical of all our children when it came to falling asleep and had to be carried to her bed. She would be stiff as a board in Chuck’s arms as he tried to “finagle” her down the hall way … turning corners trying to get her into her bed. She loved sleeping with stuffed animals. Like the other kids, Tonia loved being asked her “bestest and worsetest” before going to sleep and would remind us if we ever happened to forget. Tonia was very shy during her first few years of elementary school. She had a hard time making friends because of her shyness. But…WOW…that sure changed when she was older. She loved making friends and had a special place in her heart and looked out for those that didn’t have many friends and made them feel special and liked.
Some school subjects did not come easy to her. Especially math! But, she worked hard and succeeded in making good grades. She always did her best in what ever she put her mind to.What stands out most in our minds about Tonia is her love for talking. She LOVED to talk and talk she did. We wondered many times if her tongue or throat ever got tired. Long after all her siblings would be asleep on any one of the many trips we took…you would always find Tonia wide eyed and talking about everything and anything. I remember being so tired on one of the trips with hassling 7 kids and it was late and we were still trying to reach our destination and here Tonia was, just talking up a storm. I remember looking at her and wondering how she did it and asked her to stop talking and try and go to sleep.Because of Chuck’s work, we were able to travel to many fun and interesting places, It was a neat experience for the entire family. One of the most memorable ones being the trip to Alabama when Tonia was 12 years old. Since that was a three month stay we were able to visit many Florida Beaches, Disney World, Cape Canaveral, Kennedy Space Center, Washington D.C., Palmyra and the Sacred Grove, Niagara Falls and many places in Alabama and Georgia. Also, because of business trips, we were able to visit many places around the country like Canada and Mexico where we all enjoyed having fun while learning and experiencing.
Love Mom and Dad

Friday, May 9, 2008

Riley Johns Mother Day Poem

This mother's day is a special day one you get to spend with God, and he will thank you with a smile and a nod. Thanking you for teaching his children what they needed to know, so they could return to Him and not be held by earthly foe. This mother's day is a special day, this day the angels will sing honor to your name for this very special thing. You came to earth to raise God's children and in this you have done well. So this day you will celebrate with the sound of heavenly bells. This mother's day is a special day especially for us for this is your first mother's day back with Jesus.

Poem by Brady Eccles


It’s not easy to overcome
the loss of someone you love and hold dear to your heart.
It’s not easy to overcome the many emotions
that you feel inside. Sadness,
of happiness. Your happy that they’re in a better place and
your sad cause you probably didn’t get to say good-bye.
But they say “I want to go home
to my Heavenly Father”. Or “It’s my time to go.” Right
they’re gone and you start to cry and feel empty then
Someone wraps their arms around you
And try to comfort you.
You never look forward to the day
when the casket goes into the ground.
Your friends, relatives, and neighbors are there for support.
You try to smile at them but
you hide your face in sorrow. Then you start to cry again.
No matter how much you miss them,
you want them to be happy. You’ll see them at the
The day that Christ will come. Who knows how far away
that is. Right now all you want is
to run away to hide
and cry alone not be bothered.
You want to run and
never ever look

by Brady Eccles

Tonia's Poem of Brianne

This poem was written by Tonia right after she lost her sweet baby friend Brianna,

A tiny set of footprints marked right across my heart ,
through time and years they never will depart.

In my pain and darkness you reached and took my thumb,
and began to heal my heart which was icy cold and numb.

Your fragile little body struggled to survive while,
here was I, who wasn’t very grateful to even be alive.

With your tiny little body held close to my heart,
you brought back the music that I had for so long sought.

A baby of my own was my biggest dream,
now you and I were a little team.

I to nurture you and you to save my soul,
you helped guide me back into the fold I wonder if you ever knew.

Your sweet spirit left us all to soon,
and in the blackened misery I could not hear the tune.

Then I felt your love surround me I really felt you near,
I knew with God I would not need to fear.

For then I knew, He knew my heart and when His time was right,
my child and I would no longer be apart.

For now while God holds you close to His heart,
I’ll pray I’ll work I’ll live I’ll strive to do my part.

Your life and love helped make me strong,
now closer to my Savior I do belong.

Children of my own now fulfill my heart,
never can they erase a tiny set of footprints cherished in my heart.

I love you Brianne
Thank You

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Questions Answered

So I was going through some of my old computer files and I came across a file that was created back in 1999. I know I need to do some cleaning but man am I happy I didn't clean this out. It was one of those crazy e-mails that are so long with questions for you to answer about yourself. Tonia was nice enough to take the time to answer all my questions. I thought you would all like to hear these things. I Love you Ton!

NAME: Tonia Townsend Eccles,
NICKNAME: Elfette, Tonie,
BIRTHPLACE: LDS Hospital Utah,
HOMETOWN: Grantsville Utah,
FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPINGS: onion, tomatoes bell pepper, sausage
HAVE YOU EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING: Many times. All with my husband, once with a girl friend and once with my family in Lake Powell
DO YOU MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE: At times peoples actions will cause me to think of things. I won’t be rude to them.
PETS: 2 dogs they are old and very sweet. Porter was a wedding gift from my husband. 1 cat and the kids rabbit they caught at the rodeo
FAVORITE TYPES OF MUSIC: country, religious, classical.
FAVORITE TV SHOW: reading rainbow
TYPE OF CAR YOU DRIVE NOW: Dodge 94 Grand Caravan
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR: A great reliable 74 Ford Pinto. It was a good car.
TOOTHPASTE: colgate.
FAVORITE FOOD: authentic Chinease and Mexican Dutch oven is great also. Fried Chicken! I like everything. But not big on Legumes
FAVORITE SOFT DRINK: Dr. Pepper of course
FAVORITE TYPE OF FAMILY GAME TO PLAY: Gestures, Taboo for my brothers and sisters and mouse trap, old maid with my kids hide and seek is a lot of fun WHAT IS YOUR BAD TIME OF DAY: When it is past the kids bed time and they are still up going full force.
FAVORITE PERFUME OR COLOGNE: Beautiful for me and Eternity for Ryan
FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL: All my FFA classes and Earth Science done.
LEAST FAVORITE: Math I got better with age but elementary was very rough
YOUR BED TIME: ideal time is any time before 10:00
FAVORITE SHOE: my hiking boots
FAVORITE WEBSITE: The Fishing Report
CRAZIEST OR SILLIEST PERSON YOU KNOW: My daughter Sageryann, she is always up to something
WHAT YOU LOOK FOR IN THE OPPOSITE SEX: > religious coviction, honor, kindness ambition, honesty and white straight teeth are a HUGE plus .
FAVORITE THING TO DO ON SUNDAY: In the Winter when we have early church I love to take a family nap in the living room. I love sitting in sacrament meeting with my family
SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU: Kristi is wonderful sister to me. I'm thankful she married my brother. She is always keeping busy she is not lazy in anyway. She is also so happy. I have never heard her knock people down. kristie is a great example to me. She is a person who really HEARS what people not just listen to them. I love Kristi and love learning from her.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

When you think of Angels

When you think about angel’s
Where do you look?
Do you think while reading your book
When I think about angels where should I look?

When you think about angels
Do you look in the sky?
Do you ever wonder why
Why did they have to die?
When do you think about angels?

When you think about the dead
What goes through your head?
Do you ever question?
Why did that happen

When you remember back
Do you ever think about the pain they went through?
Or have you ever tried not to?
What happens when you think about angels?

Have you ever just wanted to see your loved one
Just one more time
Have you ever tried to hold on to the last time you saw your loved one?
I have I know what its like to miss that person and then want to see them again

As time goes by all I do is try
I just want to know. What its like to die
Mom I know you can hear me I am trying to be like you
Hey I know I make mistakes I wanna be able to see you again

Mom I know your with God
Hey I wanna know is it warm?
Do you ever think of me
I miss you more that you could imagine

Mom I really miss you
I just wanna see you
I felt your kiss
I am trying to be like you

I wish I could hug you one more time at least
When I think about angels I think about you
When I think about you I feel a heaven sent peace
Mom I hate the way I feel I cant stand to miss you
by Sage Eccles

Tuesday, April 22, 2008


I crossed paths with this poem and I feel like this is how Tonia is thinking right now. I love and miss you Tonia. - Kristi

"Death is nothing at all, I have only slipped away into the next room. Whatever we were to each other, we still are. Call me by my old familiar name. Speak to me in the same easy way you always have. Laugh as we always have laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Life means all that it ever meant, it is the same as it always was. There is absolute unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of your sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well. Nothing is past. Nothing has been lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before - only better. Infinitely happier. We will be one, together forever."

Sages Poem

Mother I love you,
Mother I do.
Mommy I miss you,
Mommy, where are you?

Mother your an angel,
sent to watch over me.
Mother your an angel,
for all eternity

Now I can't see you,
but you can see me.
I am trying to be
the daughter you want me to be.

Mom when you got to heaven ,
did you taste the milky way.
Were you going there to visit,
Were you going there the stay.
Does God need more angels?
If he does I'm on my way.

Mom, I felt your kiss,
and your sweet gentleness.
Those are somethings,
I'm becoming to miss

But your with God,
and His sweet gentle bliss.
by Sageryann Eccles

Thursday, April 17, 2008

I wish you enough!

Ryan recently e-mailed me this little story. It seems to really hit close to home when we think of Tonia and how she looked at life. So sit back and enjoy a short read.

Recently I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure.

Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, 'I love you and I wish you enough'.

The daughter replied, 'Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom'.

They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, 'Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?'.

Yes, I have,' I replied. 'Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?'.

'I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral,' she said.

'When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough'. May I ask what that means?'.

She began to smile. 'That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone'. She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more. 'When we said , 'I wish you enough', we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them'. Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

She then began to cry and walked away.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them but then an entire life to forget them.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Poems to Ma from RileyJohn

This is the only way I can convey the way I feel inside to try and open up the things I sometimes try to hide. I've said it once or maybe twice before I said goodbye. I love you mom I always will nothing can change the way I feel. Not the darkest corner or brightest light can change my mind for all its might. You are the one that I call mom, who in my heart is never gone. This is the only way I can convey the way I feel inside to try and open up the things I sometimes try to hide. My live for you is longer than any ray of sun and stronger than the pounding of the sea. The biggest difference of my love and all of these things is my love will last for all eternity.

The time has come for us to sing a song that has no words. To listen to a sound that really can't be heard. We can't hear the angels foot steps or the beating of their wings. Yet in our hears we hear the silent song they sing. My mom is here she's singing to me, sinking to you, singing to all that she holds dear letting us know she's always near. We love you mom and we can't wait to meet again at heavens gate. So now I'll raise my head and smile and with a smile I'll say I love you mom I always will, we'll meet again some day.

Tonia's Funeral

If you were unable to make it to Tonia's Funeral Services, let me assure you that it was wonderful. Her children sang "Families Can Be Together Forever" and then following RileyJohn recited his poems which I will post in a future post. I have to say I was quite impressed by this young man and the strength he displayed as he brought laughter to the audience. Then following RileyJohn, SageRyann stood to give us some memories. Sage also showed a strength I dare say I would not have. Tonia sure raised her children to be strong individuals. Following Sage, Joni Miller a very dear friend to Tonia stood and spoke. What an amazing lady to remind us to all smile because that is what Tonia would want us to do.Then Tonia's father Charles Townsend spoke some kind comforting words. Then a beautiful Violin Musical of There is a Green Hill Far Away chosen by Tonia performed by Patty Matheson. Then to close the services Ryan Eccles stood and gave the most heart felt beautiful words I have ever heard. Now if there is ever a love story... The one of Ryan and Tonia Eccles is one to be heard and remembered. So much strength and dedication was shown through their years together.After the touching service we followed outside as they gently placed Tonias bright yellow casket on a beautiful red horse driven carriage. Her children rode on the carriage with Tonia for her last ride. Following the beautiful Clydesdales and carriage was Trigger with a saddle filled with a beautiful yellow spray, and led by Ryans sister Wynnlee. Following Trigger was Ryan and Sage riding seperate horses. They rode down memory lane of their sweet home in Hyrum ending in the Hyrum cemetary.The grave was dedicated by John Tallmadge then soon after we filled the blue sky will yellow balloons in rememberance on our sweet beloved sister, friend, wife and mother. To all of you that shared this sacred memory with us, thank you for being there. And to those who could not make it, we felt your prayers. We love you sweet Tonia and will miss you until the day we meet again.

Tonia Eileen Townsend Eccles

Tonia Eileen Townsend Eccles
1970 - 2008
Tonia Eileen Townsend Eccles On March 27, 2008 Tonia Eccles returned to her loving Heavenly Father and Brother Jesus Christ in whom she has trusted thru the many years of battling major health issues which were finished when she had an accident in her beloved Jeep Wrangler and was paralyzed from the neck down including her lungs.

Tonia was born April 2nd 1970 to Charles and Kaye Townsend.

She is survived by both parents, her eternal companion Ryan Eccles, children, Austin, RileyJohn, SageRyann, Brady and Kayonia as well as her sisters and brothers, Cindy and (Glen) Peers, Tammie and (Ted) Crawford, Terry and (Kristi) Townsend, Troy and (Leah) Townsend, Talesha and (Austin) Romans, Tara and (Tomas) Reyes, Grandpa Orson (Hap) Hager along with many other loving relatives.

Preceded in death by Grandma Hager, Grandma and Grandpa Fletcher, and Uncle Kevin Hager.

Tonia and Ryan were married in the Salt Lake Temple on August 7th 1989. They enjoyed the privilege of adopting their five children and taking them thru the temple to be sealed as well. 3 were sealed in the Salt Lake Temple and 2 in the Logan Temple. Along with her family, Tonia had many joys in her life and I will cover the most outstanding ones in celebration of her life. Her joy in the gospel and the work she did in it, our time in Taiwan, her horse Trigger, her favorite yellow Jeep, her flower beds, birds, fishing, camping, track, wrestling, arm wrestling ( high school girls champ and defeater of many men in Taiwan and the US) and she most certainly found joy in serving other people.

In Passing Tonia did not stop this last Joy and gave of herself as she hung on thru 7 to 8 hours of suffering so the hospital could arrange recipients for some of her organs. She helped save 3 people that night. This was how Tonia lived her life and fittingly ended this chapter of it.

We love you and miss you Tonia but we also celebrate your honorable return to your Heavenly Father.

Funeral services will be held at 12:00 PM on Thursday, April 3, 2008 in the Hyrum 11th Ward Chapel, 200 East 600 South in Hyrum. A viewing will be held on Wednesday evening from 6:00 to 8:00 PM at the Allen-Hall Mortuary, 34 East Center Street in Logan, and prior to the services at the church on Thursday from 10:30 to 11:30 AM.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Memory Book

I would like to create a book of memories to give to Ryan. To make this a book he will cherish I would like to invite each of you who have had good memories with Tonia to share these memories or stories on this blog. Also if Tonia has inspired you in one way or another, then please feel free to share these experiences with us as well. Then we will compile them and make a treasured book for Ryan and the kids to have forever. Photos are also welcome you can send those to and I will make sure to get them added to the book. Please remember to include your full name and relationship to Tonia or how you know her. Feel free to make the post or comment as long or as short as you would like.
I will leave this blog up for as long as we need to collect these stories and statements. I was thinking at least a month so there will be nothing forgotten and if we need more time after that I have no problem giving more time. So share all you would like!
Thank you,
Kristi Townsend

Friday, March 28, 2008

Funeral Services

There will be a viewing on Wednesday, April 2, 2008 from 6:00-8:00 in the Allen Hall Mortuary (34 East Center St. Logan, UT). Also another viewing Thursday, April 3rd from 10:30am-12:00pm. in the Hyrum Church at 2nd East 6th South. Funeral services will be held Thursday, April 3, 2008 at 12:00pm in the same church as the viewing prior. Again we would like to thank each of you for your support and love through this time in our lives.