Friday, March 26, 2010
So here we are at the 2 year anniversary of Tonia's return to her home in heaven. I have thought of the events of the past two years and I have prayed alot lately to say thanks to our Father in Heaven for Tonia not being here to go thru some of the rough spots we have had. In the condition she would have been in I believe it may have crushed her heart. In the same breath I am ever so grateful for Kristi being here and strong enough to help me. We have both felt Tonia's presence and help from time to time. I have had strong feelings concerning this birthday. How blessed I really am by my father in Heaven. He has given me great parents (five moms and 4 fathers, it takes alot to handle me), 2 wonderful, beautiful daughters of his to be my companions, friends, equals (I try to keep up anyway), partners and great kids (9 with 1 additional son in law I am getting to know well enough to call a son.) I am blessed with great health and strength and the ability for Kristi and I to take care of our family. We have a great family that is growing and developing constantly. But in Memory of my Elfette I am going to close with a memory of her last gift of Love for me. Despite the fact that I would have considered it a gift from God to have her suffering end on my birthday Tonia made the very painful effort to wait one more day to go home in order to not have that memory be a part of my birthday for the rest of my life. That was the greatest birthday gift she ever gave me. One more shot of love that I did not even know she was aware of until moments before she passed. I can kid and joke and tease all I want to about loving my Brides more then they love me but in reality I am a man and there is no way in heaven I can love them better then they love me but I am going to DIE TRYING! That is what She taught me and I wish Kristi wouldn't make it such a hard task, but of course like Tonia she constantly stays ahead of me.
I am grateful everyday for Tonia and we will have her tree lighting up our yard all weekend in rememberance of her. Love you Tonia, Ryan.